Hey beautiful people, I don’t mean to be that girl; seeing as we JUST met, but I’m going to need you to do me a favour by the end of this post.
So, I came across a song and I cannot stop listening to it. It’s called “Love me first” by Nigerian Contemporary Gospel artist; Florocka.
Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics shall we?
Let me love me first
Cause I can’t give you what I really don’t understand
Let me love me first
Only then can I share my heart with you
After spending time to “God when?” at this mans artistry, I finally saw the picture I was being shown.
As some of you must have caught on, this blog post is going to be one of the many “Love yourself” posts out there but before you roll your eyes,
If you find yourself in any of the examples or categories below then I’ll advice you to pay attention. It’ll do you good. Don’t say I haven’t done anything for you in 2020.
Here’s what I know about you;
You cannot say five nice things about you without cringing; If you’re like me, one way or another you’ve found yourself trying to or being made to pay yourself compliments and if you didn’t chicken out, you probably cringed so bad.
You hate your own company; that is, you’d rather be with everyone else but yourself. And when you are by yourself, you do everything to not be WITH yourself. So, you spend all day on social media, or on Netflix or both.
You can’t take a compliment
“Chairman! See as you just dey shine”
”Me? Shine ke? You no dey see well”
Then, you proceed to give reasons to invalidate the compliment
“Me wey no get up to 1k in my account”
You deflect every compliment you get and just cannot say “Thank you.”
You also cannot give compliments and if you do, they somehow come out backhanded.
For example,” I like this your top. If you were slimmer it would look better”
You have an unexplainable need to be liked by everyone.
What happens when you find out someone doesn’t like you? Your whole day is ruined. You start to question your entire existence. You start texting your friends “ Am I a good person?” Or you go out of your way to befriend said person “you must like me by force”.
You are also the type to lead people on, as you don’t want them to withdraw their affection and attention.
You have a love hate relationship with yourself. That is, you love yourself sometimes and don’t others.
You cannot go through a day without a compliment and if you don’t get one organically, you try hard to fish for one,or more. Or as the experts like to say, your validation is external.
You hate you. No long story here. You know that you’re not your biggest fan. You just cannot stand yourself. You might have entertained suicidal thoughts or even made an attempt.
If you didn’t find yourself here, bless your heart. If you like myself did find yourself here, there’s hope.
The first thing you need to know (or in some cases, know again) is;
YOU WILL NEVER TRULY LOVE YOURSELF…till you get your “because”right
1John 4:19 New International Version (NIV) “We love because he first loved us.”
The Bible has given us the only valid reason to love anything and anyone (including ourselves)
Because He first loved us.
Any other reason is secondary to this. He’s saying don’t take your ‘why’ from anything other than Him because His reason for loving us has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Him.
So if you say you do love yourself and your reason is solely attributed to your looks, intelligent quotient, character, finances and so on, then maybe you only think you do.
You can’t love yourself outside of God. He literally saw something in you that He thought was worth dying for. Why don’t you ask Him to show it to you too?
It doesn’t matter the number of “ see your worth” and “put yourself first” quotes you screenshot. Simply trying to learn to master this Love thing outside of Him is only going to have you going in circles and consequently, getting dizzy.
The second thing I want you to know is;
LOVE IS NOT A REWARD FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR
Seeing as it was first shown to us right in the midst of terrible behavior, it’s funny to even assume that Love is a reward.
“But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”Romans 5:8
If you wonder why it becomes physically, chemically and biologically impossible for you to show love to friends and family after they hurt you or even say the words ‘I love you’ to said people ESPECIALLY right in the midst of the hurt they’ve caused, it’s because you think love is a reward. And if you pay attention, you’d see you also treat yourself the same way.
A lot of us have associated love with good behavior so much that we withdraw love from others when they fall short and much more, WE WITHDRAW LOVE FROM OURSELVES!!
You have made stupid decisions, okay
You have said things you wish you could take back, okay
You have acted unreasonably, under-reacted and overreacted, okay.
You have fallen flat on your face over and over, okay.
You have worn outfits you didn’t think looked good and ended up running into everyone you know, okay ( preaching to the choir!)
You are not a show animal that gets treats after doing a trick.
Why should your love for you be conditional? Gods love for you isn’t. He took the lead and said ‘I loved you while you were still everything you shouldn’t have been. ‘
Do you love you while you are still …..?( let’s fill in the blanks)
While you are still lazy? While you are still struggling?While you are still not best in your class? While you are still always late? While you are still always asking for money? While you are still making mistakes? Do you?
The last thing I want you to know is,
LOVE DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN
Love isn’t an accident. It’s an intentional decision. And you’re going to have to intentionally choose to love YOU first in 2020. If you thought you’d read this and somehow when you’re done, your self love would have magically improved, In Sheldon Cooper’s words, “Bazinga!”
This is where the real work starts and I don’t mean to scare you but it will take the whole year, it will take consequent years, it will take your whole life to love YOU the way you ought to be loved everyday. It’s something you never stop learning.
Find out your love language! Not so you can list it out for someone else “I fEeL lOvEd wHen YoU bUY mE gIfTS “ Please dear, No!
Find it so you can tell it to yourself.
“ I feel loved when I take the pressure off myself “ “I feel loved when I don’t compare myself to others” “I feel loved when I’m at the feet of Jesus learning all about me” “ I feel loved when I reaffirm myself”
So, to your very spiritual list of heart desires,
“ Oh God help me to love you more”
“ Oh God help me to love my neighbors”
And your not so “spiritual” list,
“Oh God give me my body goals”
“Oh God provide a boo”
Add to it,” Oh God help me to love me better”
Because you cannot give what you don’t have.
We’ve come to the end of today’s blog post. I’m so excited for things God is already using this blog to do. Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey. I—
Wait! I was going to ask you for a favour! I know you probably wanted me to forget.
Okay, It’s going to be an exercise.
Locate a mirror.
Look deep into it. (For as long as you want)
You see it right? Your imperfections, your last mistake, your nose you’ve always thought was too big, your lazy eye, that crooked tooth, your skin that never cooperates —
“I love you (insert your name)
I promise to love you better. I’m sorry I haven’t truly learned how to in the past, but I’ll spend everyday learning to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I’ll love you FIRST “
Thank you for indulging me and doing me this favour.
Cheers to a great year ahead 🥂